Things to do before dying

Your body is not a temple
It is an amusement park,
enjoy the ride.

Anthony Bourdain

Ancient teaching said that before dying a person had to do three things: have children, plant a tree and write a book. Over time, various media have added more purposes to this list, in order to motivate people to value life and make it meaningful. Some mental health experts say that we do not have to wait until the last minute to fulfill our wishes.

In English it is called “bucket list” or bucket list, to the things to do before dying and refers to an imaginary container of wishes that must be fulfilled before saying another phrase: “kicked the bucket” which means to kick the bucket, a euphemism to say “die”, that is, we must fulfill the wish list before we die.

This term became famous during the premiere of the homonymous film Bucket List, Dir. Rob Reiner, 2007 and in Hispanic countries it was called: Before leaving; about the story of two terminally ill men who decide to enforce a common wish list in their remaining months of life. What they discover after going on various adventures; is the deep friendship that arises between them and that the true meaning of life does not have to do with possessions of any kind or the recognition of others. During the fulfillment of the listed purposes, these two men discover themselves and decide that the best thing in their lives is to give joy to others, to die with their eyes closed and their hearts open…

We also have a list to propose, based on the reflections and testimonies of people who enjoy life.

1. Keep our loved ones close and tell them how much we love them right now. Verbalize feelings, express love with words. With the duties of daily life, relationships with partners and loved ones are becoming routine, some mental health experts recommend renewing relationships, having new experiences together to maintain contact, and recognizing each other at each stage of life. Falling in love again, for example, and feeling the emotions that make us live fully.
2. Take care of the space where we live in the present. Our own home could be an unhappy environment. Marie Kondo in her book The Magic of Order (2007) suggests eliminating from our closets everything that does not bring us joy and leaving the most appreciated and easy-to-find objects. According to Kondo, by putting the house in order we put the affairs of the past in order and let go of what is not necessary. The art of ordering sharpens decision-making skills and even detoxifies the body, restores the balance between people, possessions, and puts our lives in order.
3. Find financial peace of mind, right now. The first thing would be to end the debts that we commonly acquire with credit cards and keep us worried all our lives. According to economist Dave Ramsey, it is possible to eliminate personal debt by paying one card at a time. We choose the one with the lowest interest rate, and we start by paying the minimum fee. We use any extra money to pay that card and once paid we continue with the second and the others, in the same way, according to the balance required for each one. We must visualize and reserve all the money with which we pay the first card to pay the others, it is a job that requires discipline not to spend the money and stop getting into debt. If we think about it, we don’t need to buy so many things.
4. Buy useful things. We have heard the phrase “I have nowhere to fall dead” and although it sounds in bad taste, we think about it. Sometimes due to superstition or fear, we believe that investing in a funeral plan is bad luck and quite the opposite, that purchase means prevention against the inevitable and tranquility for our loved ones, we avoid worries while we are healthy and enjoy life. It would be a great legacy to plan a green funeral, the kind that makes trees grow in a forest, from ecological urns.
5. Give joy to others. Our main mission as human beings is service, according to the precepts of the world’s spiritual religions and philosophies. We can volunteer in a civil association, there is always someone to help without the slightest personal interest. Also, contribute with the donation of blood, organs, and tissues, in life and after death. But first, we must make sure that our physical and mental health is fine, otherwise, we must take care of ourselves. Says the thanatologist David Kessler: people who have emotional wounds hurt others and healthy people, help to heal other people.
6. Think of ourselves. Not from selfishness, but from self-care and love. While it is true that we come to this world to serve, it takes time to find individual happiness, to balance. It would be useful to eliminate a bad habit, eat healthier or do some kind of physical exercise; but also, discard resentments, cultivate the habit of forgiveness and stop judging our fellow men, develop empathy and compassion, start with ourselves and then expand it to other people. It has been known that the people who survived the contagion of Covid19, had a history of healthy life in general, thus they withstood the disease better and with fewer sequelae. It would be better to face what comes, with body defenses and mental health tools.
7. Fulfill your dream. How long have you worked without Caesar to support your family? We wonder if in fulfilling your duty you sacrificed any desire, what would you like to do? Well then, the time has come to fulfill your dream. For example, taking a trip, there is so much to discover. Did you know? Valle de Guadalupe, in Ensenada, Baja California, due to its soil and climate characteristics, produces world-renowned Mexican wines. The so-called Wine Route offers wine tourism tours aimed at developing a taste for this rich drink or enjoying the wonders of the seabed on an island like Cozumel where you can learn to dive as Jacques Cousteau did. The sensory pleasure of knowing new places, listening to sounds of nature, looking for different emotions, and discovering new flavors, is something we deserve because it brings us happiness.

What other things could you add to the list? We always have pending wishes, which sometimes because we prioritize other things, we have not realized them. Some critics of “to-do-before-you-die lists” suggest that setting goals like this means losing your spontaneity or being surprised by the unexpected. We believe that doing what we want from our lifestyle is necessary and important, as long as we do not wait any longer to carry it out. At Del Pueblo Funeral Home, we make the most difficult times easy.