For migrant mothers, the journey of love, sacrifice and responsibility that motherhood represents takes on a unique dimension. In this article, we will address how the decision to parent and provide from a distance is faced and the emotional impact it entails.
The decision to migrate and its implications
Many women migrate in search of better economic opportunities for themselves and their families. This decision involves leaving behind their homeland, their loved ones, and often their own children. Transnational motherhood begins here, with the pain and difficulty of separating from children, with the promise of a better future. According to the Migration Data Portal, 48% approx. of migrants are women.
Grief in migrant mothers
According to the neurophysicist and psychologist Jacobo Grinberg, the migratory grief that mothers face due to the absence of their children and their process of integration consists of three stages.
- Stage one: anxiety and guilt appear, similar to the denial stage, for separating from your children.
- Stage two: dissociation, idealizations, paranoia may appear, to ensure their survival and integration into a new language.
- Stage three: some migrant mothers renounce traditions or cultural heritages to fully integrate into the new culture.
Although after adaptation, the pain caused by migratory grief can be overcome, the separation does not cease to impact their existence permanently. Since the link with their country of origin and their children is maintained, any nod from them can awaken nostalgia for what they left behind.
Other psychologists identify seven duels within the migration process. The first is related to separation from loved ones; the second, with the loss of the mother tongue and learning new communication codes; the third, with the distancing of habits, customs and values; the fourth, with the appreciation of new landscapes, aromas, smells, etc.; the fifth, with access to housing opportunities, health systems, education and work; the sixth, with the need to be part of a group; and the seventh, with the risk to his integrity as a person.
The double burden
Many migrant mothers had to leave their children in charge of other women or family members to leave the country, which causes them to face a double burden: the responsibility of financially repaying the support and, in turn, sending enough money to cover the basic needs of their children.
By positioning themselves as heads of the family, they have pressure to fulfill the role of providers without separating themselves from the care, upbringing and education of their children, even from a distance. Here communication technologies play a fundamental role; Through video calls and social networks, they can see their children grow, share important moments and provide emotional support.
The challenge of cultural identity
There are mothers who decide to migrate with their children and raise them in a different country — especially when they are preschool children — because of the difficulties that may arise in returning in a short time. However, there is constant fear or stress for the safety of their family, due to the state of illegality they may experience at first, as well as the difficulties of balancing parenting with work.
Lack of knowledge and differences in workplace policies, such as maternity leave or access to child care, can frustrate your ability to care for your children and maintain a job. At a cultural level, there is also the desire to instill a love for their culture, their language and their traditions, while preparing them to integrate into the new society.
Tools and data of interest to understand the grief of migrant mothers.
- Even in the context of migration, women continue to create “chains of care”, which means that, through economic support, they are preserving emotional and cultural ties with their children and their country.
- According to the Migration Policy Institute, it is estimated that approximately 4 million children in the United States have at least one parent who is undocumented.
- According to data from the National Institute of Statistics and Geography (INEGI), the population that emigrates to other countries does so, in greater numbers, between the ages of 20 and 34, their most productive stage.
- Migration surveys show that the reasons for women’s migration, between 1993 and 2006, are reunion with family members and the intention to integrate into the US labor markets.
Transnational motherhood is a journey full of challenges and sacrifices, but also unwavering love and determination. Migrant mothers face the grief of migration with courage and resilience while fighting for a better future for their children. In an increasingly globalized world, we want to remind you that at Del Pueblo Funeral Home we make the most difficult moments easy.
