Don’t die with your dead, live for them
Santa Teresa de Jesús
The loss of a mother represents one of the most terrible pains that a person can suffer. Our culture has placed the maternal role in a privileged and indispensable place because, in addition to providing life, she is a protector, educator, and the one who feeds, which is why it is so difficult to survive her absence.
Almost all mothers consider that love is their first teaching, in an instinctive and natural act, it is the only thing that never dies with their departure from this world. When you have had a mother with such characteristics and always present throughout various stages of life, her death becomes a complicated mourning, and feelings of orphanhood, vulnerability, and emptiness arise.
There are cases in which we stop idealizing the mother of childhood and face the defects, inconsistencies, or mistakes of the woman, of the human being that she was. Perhaps at the end of her life, there is a distance from her, and this situation causes a feeling of guilt in the descendants; the same is true when she suffered a prolonged mental or physical illness, the children come to believe that they did not do enough to care for her.
On the other hand, we must learn from childhood to separate ourselves from it. We already did it from her womb at birth and like this from the first day of school, the trips without her, until we moved away from the maternal home to follow our purposes. All these teachings indicate and warn us about the natural cycle of physical separation, but their presence never fades, it is always there in our minds in any situation.
When the mother is missing, the whole family enters into a process of adjustment, of recomposition; Attached children suffer a lot from grief, the more independent children seem to process it with some fluency, while others take on a parental role: they organize, arrange everything, and take leadership of the family, as the mother would have done before she died.
As it is so difficult to survive the absence of a mother, here we suggest some #information that we hope will be useful for you:
- Express all the love you feel for your mother while sharing life: fill yourself with experiences by her side and, if it is the case that you have distanced yourself due to a complicated relationship, try to resolve it, communicate your feelings, and decipher the family secrets in a respectful and peaceful dialogue. That will bring a lot of peace when saying goodbye.
- Even if you feel that you will not be able to survive the death of your mother, after a while you will, you already had many losses. As an adult, you have been able to recover, and you will be happy again. You have her teachings, so increase the love she sowed within you. If you need professional help, we suggest you go to the ART thanatology team, for its acronym in Spanish: Acceptance, Reencounter, and Transformation, they are located through WhatsApp to support you: +52775 194 8805.
- It will be very difficult to face the calendar of a lifetime, full of significant dates, with your absence: birthdays, Mother’s Day, Christmas and so many others. Mental health experts say that we must give priority to the living, don’t stop celebrating, and try to forget the phrase: “how she would have wanted”. Rebuild and resignify the dates with those who are present.
- If it is important to you, the help that leading a spiritual life represents will provide you with that mental calm that you need in the most difficult moments. Remember: the body dies, but love is eternal.
- In the recent death of the famous singer Naomi Judd, we remember the song: River of Time that she composed about the happy moments that we must live because they are soon gone, in this interpretation of the group The Judds that she formed together with her daughter Wynonna because the music is a cure for the heart.
At Del Pueblo Funeral Home we want you to be able to go through your mourning in the healthiest way possible and remember this month dedicated to mothers, with peace and tranquility, from the legacy of love that we must increase daily, so we remind you that we make the most difficult moments easy.
